Walmart

Today I found out how much I absolutely hate shopping for necessities. It was a hot and muggy day - the kind of day you crank the AC as hard as you can. (In my family's Taurus that would be Level 4... ya, that's right. Not just any level - Level 4). So I entered Walmart.

And the Walmart Greeter Lady failed to greet me...

Needless to say, but I'm going to say it anyway - I was incredibly disappointed in the lack of greeting from the Walmart Greeter. But I pressed on - to the Men's section. Grabbed a few things, then I made a startling discovery. I needed to get a cart for the first time in my life!!! (Well, for the first time ON MY OWN). See, in college, you never need a cart. You grab like 2-3 things and you're set for the month, ya know... well - not today. Today - I was shopping for the whole summer.

I must have looked really stupid as I went up to the Walmart Cart People, smiled politely, and dumped my stuff in the cart. They were probably thinking, "Isn't he supposed to do that when comes IN?" So I headed for the toiletries section. I hate the toiletries section - with a passion. I must have paced up and down that section 9 times trying to find the stupid hairspray. Couldn't find it for like 14 minutes. Finally - there it was - ONLY 96 cents!!! Ya - take that economy.

As I nonchalantly meandered to the register, I noticed that the candy bars are only 48 cents now!!! That's incredible... no joke. Then I made my second startling discovery. The guy in front of me was already paying... and all my merch was still IN THE CART.

So I tried to act all suave - like I just didn't feel like putting my merch on the belt yet... ha - riiiiiight. The Walmart Register Lady bought my act though. Her name was Stephanie. As I suavely leaned against the credit card machine, I made my 3rd startling discovery. The credit card machines now ask you if the Walmart Register Lady GREETED YOU!!! Stephanie had, indeed, greeted me - so I took the germ infested plastic Walmart Credit Card Payment Pen and said, "Yes."

I just wonder why they don't ask you if the Walmart Greeter Lady greeted you as opposed to the Walmart Register Lady? Oh well, that's Walmart... I guess.